Posted on 20 February 2010

wedding crashers…
Doug B: “What are you guys doing here? Who do you know?”
Paul B: “I work with the bride, and Grace came with.”
Doug B: “Oh. We know the groom, but haven’t met Jo yet, so it’s cool that you guys know her! See you after the ceremony.”
Paul B to me in alarm, as Doug walks away: “Jo? Who’s Jo? Our bride’s name’s Santie!”

after I get back to the table after escaping to the bathroom to haul out an olive that went down the top of my dress, the person next to me: “You know, you could’ve just taken it home in a box!”
[yes. awkward things happen to me.]

Mathew, getting directions from Jan: “Okay, does anyone in the car know of Gant’s center?”
Rebecca: “I do!”
Mathew, on the phone to Jan: “No, we know where it is. See you now! [putting the phone down] Okay, so where is it?”
Rebecca: “I don’t know! I’ve just heard about it!”

Jean: “And then what did he say?”
Mathew: “I DON’T KNOW! GETTING DIRECTIONS STRESSES ME OUT, SO I JUST SAID OKAY AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN!!”

Kaleidoskoop-bandmember, after his mom walks up to the stage and hands over a huge Valentines’ Day card: “Dis waarom ek geen meisie het nie. My ma’t my standarde te hoog gemaak!”

Doug, doing a session on singing in church: “So why do people sing? I mean, in the everyday context, not just at church.”
Me, muttering: “‘Cause they’re drunk! [as everyone around me looks back to me] Ooohh, that was said a bit too loud!”

Joe: “So we went to Wimpy, and my mom wanted to know how many chips came with the sandwich she wanted to order. So she asked the waiter ‘Will I get quite a few chips if I order this?’ And the waiter said ‘Seven’. And sure enough, all our meals had only seven chips!”

at the sokkie early..
JP: “The male-female ration isn’t looking too great at the moment. [Everyone looks around to realize that I’m the only girl with six guys. Just then, three more guys walk in] And it’s not getting better!”

Gys, coming in to see me completely hooded over: “Wow, when I first walked in, I thought you were just one of the guys!”
Simon: “No, she actually looks like she could be a Sith!”

engineers…
Simon: “I never took you for a handbag girl.”
Bertus: “Handbag girl? Isn’t that a tautology?”
Simon: “No. Grace is a girl, but not a handbag!”

Me: “If you liked me, why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
Person A: “Because you’re you…. Oh. That came out badly.”

First year: “I’m lazy and generally out of it. So don’t expect too much from me.”

First year: “I want to get into psychology.”
Me: “Why?”
First year: “‘Cause for some reason, people keep on coming to me with their problems, and I help them out. But the funny thing is that afterwards, I always think ‘WHY ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME?!?!'”

Chris, as I pick him up at 7: “Just so you know- I’ve NEVER gone for breakfast this early!”
Me: “But you sound awake?”
Chris: “That’s because you started smsing me at 5!!!”

bumping into JH in 7/11…
JH: “I’m teaching now, so I just wanted to grab a juice… [muttering] it should be alcohol though.”

Ciffy: “‘How do you reject a guy nicely?’ That’s easy! You go… umm.. Wait, this is turning out to be a bit harder than I thought. Let me think about it.”

Jaco: “What is it you actually do? You’re like this weird little girl that just wanders around the English Department!”

Liezl, looking at my pizza: “Ordering pizza without cheese is like going to KFC and asking them for chicken without skin!”

Jacques: “Yeah, we’re superficial friends! I didn’t even know before last year that you weren’t asexual!”