Posted on 12 February 2010

Me, seeing Michael slowly hobble towards me with his leg in a brace: “Dude, what happened?!”
Michael: “Kite-surfing accident. Anyway, cheers.”
Me: “Oh, are you going now?”
Michael: “No. I’m just going to the bathroom, but it’s going to take a while to get there and back!”

Me, after hearing about a friend’s exciting work plans: “So why are you involving me in this?”
Dirk B: “When I’m working, I like to have people around me who smile.”

Kim: “I lost 12 kgs in a month!”
Me: “That’s crazy! How did it happen?”
Kim: “I moved to Graaf-Reinette.”

Simon, seeing me just woken up, and in my boxers and top: “Woah, Gracie, is that the aftermath from last night?!?”
[to be fair, I had NO idea that when Paul said he was coming back to pick something up, so I was please to bring it out to him, that his car would be full of guys.]

Me, phoning a friend Friday morning: “Hey, you awake?”
Danielsun: “Now I am!”

Maryke: “Gracie, I want to ask you something, but you mustn’t be offended. The fourth years are organising the first years’ party, and they know I have an Asian friend, so they asked me to ask you to come with.. ’cause the theme is ‘Made in China’! Can you be their party mascot??!?”

Admin lady, checking my bursary form: “Have you ever been declared mentally unfit?”
Me: “No.”
Lady, ticking No: “So, not yet.”

Ed: “I suddenly remembered who your consulting style reminded me of. Mario! You consult just like Mario teaches!”

Jean, shouting comments as I’m on the phone to Simon: “Ask him if he’s cute! Or if he’s hot? Oh, it doesn’t matter. Tell him I like him anyway!”

Ciffy, talking about the possibility that mutant bacteria kill everyone except me: “Oh wow, you’ll outlive us all!”
Me: “But I don’t want to be left myself!”
Ciffy: “But you’ll have all the cockroaches!”

Selene: “This weather’s so weird. Earlier it was cold and looked like it was going to rain, and now I can smell my arm-hair burning!”

Me: “I’m starving!!!”
Selene, turning her head towards me: “I’m ravenous to [then seeing me].. Don’t eat me!”

Selene, on green tea: “I don’t understand why people drink it! It just tastes like dirty water!”

Me: “Liezl’s left us for money!”
Selene: “I can’t believe she chose the material over the spiritual!”
Me: “But we’re not spirits.”
Selene: “Speak for yourself! I’m a goddess!”

Paul: “I had the element of surprise! But that comes naturally because I’m Asian.”