Posted on 19 December 2008

Kim: “I’m going up to P.E. next year for my Zuma year.”
Me: “Ooh, I know people who’re in Natal for their Zuma year! Maybe they can help you out!”
Kim: “Is that close?
Me: “I think so..”

Allan, using his croissant as a map: “This is Natal [points to one edge]. This is P.E. [points to another side]. They are not close.”

Minah, looking at the sticker on her Smarties box: “Is this Frenchie a woman or a man?”
Me: “Minah! He’s got a moustache.”
Minah: “You never know. Women today…”

Minah: “The Portugese, they don’t speak with any commas.”

Julie: “The Rhenish girls know her as the Screaming Pregnant woman, but to the rest of us, she’s just Adele.”

My girls: “Why didn’t you do anything for the talent show?”
Me: “I don’t have any talents.”
Mandy, in dead earnest: “Yes you do!!!!!!! Sarcasm!” [a bit more wistfully] “I wish I could do that…”

Jenni: “Alistair and I started dating at 15, but I wouldn’t recommend that actually ’cause we had to work through a lot of issues and you know, childishness [at this, Alistair points at himself].”

someone: “Happy anniversary Alistair!”
Alistair, looking at his wife Jenni: “Yeah, I’d just like to say that God has been so kind and so good and so very very generous.. to Jenni!”

Guy: “As an expert Rubix cuber, what would you say is your greatest strength?”
Richard: “I’m colourblind.”

Steph to Joe: “I don’t appreciate the way you just smear your sunscreen on like that.”

Paul B: “Guys are completely useless around girls they like.. They see the girl, and they’re gone… Completely paralytic.”

Sarah, after numerous grammatical errors: “I can’t believe you’re an English honours student!”
Me, unintentionally: “Yeah, sometimes I speak bad.”

Nora: “Peppermint crisp tart? I don’t really like mi.. oh wait, I just ordered a mint mojita!”

Johann: “‘Straight’ doesn’t mean you like girls. It means you only like girls!”

after giving me numerous directions back to Stellenbosch, Deon’s friend’s final advice: “If you get lost… Survive.”

after I try explain something, Jan and Irene both shake their heads: “No.”
Jan, surprised by Irene: “Oh, I thought it was a general Kim thing to be out of touch with reality. But it appears it’s only Grace!”

30 seconds
Steven, explaining The Pussycat dolls: “What little girls play with.”
Ryan: “balls?”

band talk…
A: “Now George wants to play lead.”
B: “That’s not going to happen, we already have a lead guitarist!!!”
A: “You know how George is…”
everyone contemplates, before C cuts in: “Fine, then we’ll let both of them play lead…” [continues as everyone starts protesting] “… and we just mute George!”

nerdhood and metal rock..
Pieter: “Dude, I’d swear you guys would have more fans if it wasn’t for World of Warcraft.”

A, realistically: “Once Diablo 3 comes out, I don’t think we’ll be playing any gigs for a while!”
B, even more realistically: “Even if we did, half our fans probably wouldn’t come to the shows!”